Breaking the walls

Life makes you go through lots of ups and downs. Most of the time we spend thinking about the downs in life and dealing with them. We tend to lose ourselves when going through the down times, especially when there is no one you can depend on.

To deal with the problems you are going through, you build high walls all around and protect yourself. You don't let others to see you beyond the walls. You are protected on all sides by this wall. Everyone knows your smiling face from outside the wall. No one can climb over the wall and hurt you. You are safe and sound. No one tries to jump over the wall and see what is on the other side and even if some one tries you just don't let them climb the walls. But in the process of safe guarding yourself, you lock up a lot of things which mean a lot to you. Your emotions, feelings, happiness, sorrow, dreams and a lot of small things of life which you cared for. Even you forget what all you have kept locked.. they are no more part of you... Some of it happens involuntarily, you don't even realise it... You live happily with these walls around you... safe..

Then all of sudden from no where, some one comes and tries to climb this wall. Tries to see what is beyond the wall, and as usual you try to stop them. But this person is very strong, he keeps trying and slowly starts to break the walls.. You are not sure what to do.. whether to let him continue or stop him like everyone else. You never realised that some one would come and break the wall, an unexpected attack. So you let him tear down the wall part by part and let them see what is hidden behind the wall. Then you realise that the wall had created a different world for you. You were indifferent to the happenings around you, you were not concerned about the feelings of people, you were just a spectator to all that's happening, you didn't allow yourself to get involved with anything including your feelings.

Suddenly when the wall comes down, you realise that there were a lot of things which you actually missed, your dreams, happiness, sorrow, feelings everything comes rushing back to you. You realise you have changed a lot, things you could do easily earlier, now don't come to you so fast. Those things don't even strike your mind. You think how you could change so much.. they were so much part of you and now its like you have lost all of them.. Even when you make a conscious effort to bring them back, it does not come back.. How can you be like this without any feelings ? But you know you are excited about this new change that has come, you start to appreciate the small things in life which make so much difference to you. These small things were what you always wanted and enjoyed. Everything seems like a fairytale, too true to believe.

Amidst this new found excitement, you then face a series of questions from different sides. Why did you let the walls be broken down? Whats the reason for it? Was it really required ? You begin to doubt yourself.. you were safe behind the walls. With no walls, will you be safe ? Right now you maybe, but for how long? Are you going to through the same path again and be hurt again ? You want to believe whats happening around you without the walls. You are scared that the wonderland you are living in will disappear all of a sudden. But something tells you to go forward, don't build the walls again. You enjoy life without the walls, cos thats what you always wanted. You know its not going to stay for a long time. Things will change, it has to change. You don't know what will happen. Why not enjoy and be happy when you have the chance to be. Maybe some one likes the way you are without the walls. If you can make a positive difference at least for a short while, still better. At least there will be some good memories to think about and be happy. So lets enjoy life without the walls till its possible.. Rest we will see later....

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened....."