Once again...

Once again, looks like my mind is going out of my control. The same anger is taking control over me. I don't like it, I don't like the way I am now...

I know what has provoked my anger.. Effect of the doings of one particular person in office.. I hate that person... But I cant say anything against it. Not only because of the effect on my so called appraisals, but it will cause more mental stress. I will have to go through more torture if I say anything back. And when I talk when I am angry, there is no control. All wanted and unwanted stuff I will blabber.. I wont mean half of what I say when I am angry. But the harm will be done by the time I cool down.

Not able to concentrate on any work, neither in office nor any personal stuff. This is the only thing that's running through my head like poison. So all that frustration is building up in me and I am letting it out on others who have no clue as to what is happening with me.

Normally if I talk to someone about it, I will feel better. But in this case, its not helping. I have been literally cribbing to every other person who spares even 2 mins listening to me.

Yesterday I was so angry that I cried in front of S. He thought I was crying because he was teasing me about something.

This is the same state I was, just before leaving from Bangalore. Its so funny, how a single person can change your mood so much na ? I don't how people can be so senseless or rather so stupid?

Maybe I am over reacting to all this.. maybe its a very small thing which I should just ignore instead of giving it so much importance and spoiling my mood.. But I am not able to do it. I hate that person so much, that any small thing done by that person irritates me.

Alright forget everything, to hell with that person. Like my best friend says, "poyi vere pani nokan para ayalode.." right? Don't bother about it.. Some people don't change and you cant change them.. so forget it...

That dialog somehow brings a smile on my face and makes me forget things which hurt me and don't want to remember. It makes me feel much better and look at things in a different way.

And the good news is I am going back to Bangalore. Today I complete 6 months in US, and now its time to pack back to Swades. By mid of next month I will be back, at least I am hoping so. Need to confirm my return dates with my manager. Definitely by next month, not beyond that. Its not that I am home sick and want to come back. But pressures, pressures, pressures from everywhere so need to land back very soon. So I don't really have a choice to stay back, though there is the opportunity. I definitely miss Bangalore and more than anything I miss my car. Getting my hands on my car and meeting up with friends is what I am looking forward to.. There are very few friends left in Bangalore, all of them spread across various countries of the world. But at least some one is there.. so looking forward to meeting all of you guys...

Bangalore... I am coming back...